{"id":2285,"date":"2022-10-03T13:26:33","date_gmt":"2022-10-03T10:26:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/concord.by\/?p=2285"},"modified":"2022-10-08T14:58:09","modified_gmt":"2022-10-08T11:58:09","slug":"net-slovo-kotoroe-mozhet-spasti","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/news\/net-slovo-kotoroe-mozhet-spasti\/","title":{"rendered":"”No!” – a word that can save"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Many situations in the modern world provoke teenagers to thoughtless and sometimes dangerous actions. In most cases, this happens because there is a feeling that there is no other way out. For many to say “No!” – is a test that may threaten the emotional state or authority in the peer group. \u201cIf I don\u2019t agree, then I\u2019ll blame myself for it\u201d, \u201cI\u2019ll say no – and no one will communicate with me\u201d, \u201cLater I\u2019ll regret if I don\u2019t agree now\u201d – these are just a few of the justificatory phrases that a teenager can use to regulate his own behavior in the course of a problematic choice. Problematic, because this choice may imply initially negative consequences that the teenager knows about, but this fear pales before the simple conviction: \u201cWho will I be if I refuse ?!\u201d. The ability of calmly and firmly refusing, without feeling either guilt or doubt, is very important. This will help you resist the influence from outside and always make perceived choices, controlling your own life. This article will tell bout how and when you can say say “No”.<\/p>\n

First, let’s look at the basic settings that can help in making any difficult decision:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Rejection doesn’t make you a bad person.<\/strong> Everyone has the right to refuse to do something if he considers it wrong in a particular situation. If your opinion is really important to someone, then you will definitely be understood.
\n2. Rejection <\/strong>can stop future conflict.<\/strong> If in specific circumstances it really is not possible to agree or accept the point of view of another person, then it is better to say this right away in order to avoid subsequent misunderstandings and not provoke a delayed conflict.
\n3. Rejection does not destroy friendship.<\/strong> True friendship is the strongest bond, which is very difficult to destroy by the fact of refusing to do something undesirable. In friendship, everyone has the same rights, and the other person must understand this, otherwise what kind of friendship are we talking about? A real friend will only support your personal choice and agree with it, without imposing his views or \u201cpressing\u201d you in order to obtain the cherished consent.<\/p>\n

Now let’s look at the ways in which you can ethically say “No!”:<\/p>\n

1.It is worth suggesting an alternative. Sometimes it is quite easy and harmless to refuse an incorrect request. For example, you could say, “Sorry, but I’m in a hurry right now and can’t do it.”
\n2. Sympathy in response. Refusal is perceived easier if it is not saturated with aggression, but shows the interlocutor that his request has been heard, understood, and also if the answer shows your empathy: \u201cI am pleased that you turned to me with this question, but, to be honest, I I haven\u2019t figured this out yet and I can\u2019t help you. Try asking someone else.\u201d
\n3. Reflect the phrase. When someone insistently asks you for something, you can try to repeat the request itself in a slightly paraphrased version and add your own \u201cNo!\u201d in the end. For example: \u201cI understand that you want to take a walk with me, but now I’m not in the mood. Then no”.
\n4. Humor. In some situations, in order to reduce the emotional pressure in the dialogue, you can resort to humor. This can work when you have already given a refusal, but the opponent refuses to hear it. Then, breaking expectations, you can laugh it off: \u201cI just received an SMS with a message that this is not a good idea. I was asked to think.”
\n5. Change of perspective. Your feelings can be manipulated in order to cause a feeling of guilt to get the desired consent. Therefore, if you feel it, you can try to swap places with the manipulator. Usually, manipulations begin with such phrases: \u201cWould you be a good friend to me …\u201d, \u201cYou say that you love and appreciate me …\u201d, etc. These phrases can be perfectly reflected and used in case of refusal: \u201cIf you were my friend too, you would never offer this\u201d or \u201cI love and appreciate, and I refuse it as a poet, because …\u201d.
\n6. Prepare in advance. Some questions may be brewing for some time and it is reasonable to assume that sooner or later they will be asked. The best option in such a situation is to prepare in advance. Having worked out the answer, you can give it more confidently and decisively, making it clear to the opponent that you are serious and are not going to agree.
\n7. Weight in words. The more clearly and confidently you pronounce your refusal, the higher the likelihood that you will be heard faster and stop bothering with uncomfortable requests.<\/p>\n

Remember that in communication there are different situations when it is normal to refuse. It is one thing when you are asked to do homework for someone or to lend money, another thing is when you are offered dubious, bordering on illegal activities, entertainment. Always remember that only you are free to make the final decision.<\/p>\n

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Many situations in the modern world provoke teenagers to thoughtless and sometimes dangerous actions. In most cases, this happens because there is a feeling that there is no other way out. For many to say “No!” – is a test that may threaten the emotional state or authority in the peer group. \u201cIf I don\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3539,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,10,8,3],"class_list":["post-2285","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","category-pedagog-psiholog","category-parents","category-students"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2285"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3571,"href":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2285\/revisions\/3571"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3539"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2285"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/concord.by\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2285"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}